Stick figures

Can someone please explain the new trend of putting stick figure bumperstickers on cars??? It appears that you use them to represent members of your family and some people even have pets. Is this just an Atlanta suburb phenomena??

"unarmed" bank robbery

I was filling out a housing application with a client the other day and under criminal background I wrote,  "Felony Armed Bank Robbery."  To which my client emphatically responded, "No, no, it was not armed."  I asked how, then, did he rob the bank, twice?  His response, "with a crack pipe." 

Now, I have heard it all!!

FYI

My mother has slapped my wrist for my foul mouth on MY blog and tried to really make me feel guilty stating my son might one day read this.  But seriously is cursing by way of an acronym really cursing??????  And, if, by the time N actually reads this will i care?  Either way, i guess i will keep it to a minimum if not for future generations, at least to keep the peanut gallery at bay (ah hem, mom!)

Jaws

N's new nickname.  On Friday, i picked him up from school/daycare and he had 3 (yes 3) reports of biting other children.  Then on Saturday, he bit my friends' 4 year old so bad he left an indelible red inprint of his teeth on her poor little arm.

question i will never ask again

Social worker to client, "What happened to your forehead?"
Client, "head board.  need i say more?"
Social worker, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."

My little Picasso

Yes, I admit it.  I am a proud mother.  As I gathered N's things at daycare I was beside myself to find his very first piece of artwork.  Now this was not just any scribble mess that most toddlers might bring home.  Nooooo sir.  this was a "My Zoo Book" with a picture of N on the cover coloring.  and subsequent pictures of zoo animals which were "colored" by N.  I put colored in quotes because there was all of about one or two marks of crayon on each page.  Nonetheless, in my "mama mind", it was a masterpiece fit to be framed and stored in the MOMA.  Aw, i was almost in tears and chomping at the bit to see what painting, charcoal, or sculpure might be next!!

drugs n holidays

a client of mine relapsed about a month ago and was desparate to enter residential drug treatment.  the free programs in the area were full at the time so we created an "outpatient" plan until we could get her a bed.  well, today i found a bed and called to tell her.  her response, "yeah i'll go.  AFTER THE HOLIDAYS."  in my mind i think, "WTF??????"  i repeated this outloud questioning if this is what she really just told me and could hear my coworkers snickering in the background.  ok, sure no problem.  afterall, who doesn't want to smoke crack with their turkey'n'dressin?